(..The Real Slim Shady..)
May I have your attention please
May I have your attention please
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up
We’re gonna have a problem here…
Y’all act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door
And started whooping her ass worse than before
They first were divorced, throwing her over furniture (Ah!)
It’s the return of the… “Ah, wait, no way, you’re kidding
He didn’t just say what I think he did, did he
And Dr. Dre said… nothing, you idiots
Dr. Dre’s dead, he’s locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
Feminist women love Eminem
(vocal turntable: chigga chigga chigga)
Slim Shady, I’m sick of him
Look at him, walking around grabbing his you-know-what
Flipping the you-know-who.” “Yeah, but he’s so cute though
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse, than what’s going on in your parents’ bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can’t
But it’s cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips
And if I’m lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that’s the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman’s clitoris is
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel, don’t they
We ain’t nothing but mammals..” Well, some of us cannibals
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes (SLURP)
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then there’s no reason that a man and another man can’t elope
(EWWW) But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes…
Cause I’m Slim Shady, yes I’m the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won’t the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up
Will Smith don’t gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too
You think I give a damn about a Grammy
Half of you critics can’t even stomach me, let alone stand me
But Slim, what if you win, wouldn’t it be weird
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears
Yo Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear ’em argue over who she gave head to first
Little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
Yeah, he’s cute, but I think he’s married to Kim, hee-hee!
I should download her audio on MP3
And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD (AHHh)
I’m sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
So I have been sent here to destroy you (bzzzt)
And there’s a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me; who just don’t give a fuck like me
Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
It just might be the next best thing but not quite me…
I’m like a head trip to listen to, cause I’